JULY WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

            Ulysses was transferred from Camp Salubrity, his first real army camp, to New Orleans Army Barracks. He wrote Julia three beautiful love letters from New Orleans, and all three were written in the month of Julia -- I mean, the month of July! That was a real mistake on my part!

            This is my favorite line from his three July love letters written in New Orleans. Because it is so meaningful, I only give you this one:

N. Orleans Barracks La.

July 11^th 1845

“In going away now I feel as if I had some one els than myself to live and strive to do well for.”

Ulysses would “live and strive to do well” for Julia, for the rest of his life.

AUGUST WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

            Julia and Ulysses were finally wed on August 22, 1848.

            In late July, Ulysses’ regiment arrived at Pascagoula, Mississippi, on their way home from the Mexican War. As soon as they were settled in the camp, Ulysses turned over his duties to his friend, Lieutenant Henry Wallen, and hastened on to St. Louis. Here, Julia and Ulysses were reunited, at last.

            “Of course,” Julia blushingly recalled in her memoirs, “I was enchanted when Captain Grant returned home.”

            Ulysses urged his betrothed to set an early wedding date, then, he returned home to Ohio, with the idea that some of his family would accompany him back to St. Louis for his wedding.

            This love letter, written on Ulysses’ visit home, following his reunion with Julia, is one of my favorites. It shows a man who went through every deprivation of war, but can’t go a few days without the warmth of his woman without brooding. A few of my favorite lines:

August 7th 1848

Bethel Ohio

 “I felt as unhappy Dear Julia after leaving you as I did happy upon seeing you first. The whole way, I done nothing but think of you, and of how happy I should be at our next meeting. But then you know how very much I love you and how could we part without my grieving.”

He ends the letter by assuring Julia he will soon be back in her arms, and then:

“After my arrival Dear Julia I hope we shall never be so long separated again. My feelings since I left you the last time convinc”

            This letter was cut off in mid-sentence and apparently, was never mailed. But someone in Bethel saved the letter, thank goodness, and we are indebted to them, for it reveals a bridegroom so ardent, so tender, so devoted, one can’t help but feel Julia Dent was one lucky little bride.

            Ulysses’ own family refused to attend his wedding. This must have hurt him terribly. They said it was because her family were slave owners, and Ulysses’ mother was too shy to appear in company. But it just fits the pattern of their emotional distance from their sensitive son, unwilling to share with him the joy of what was surely the happiest day of his life. It only serves to point out how desperately he needed someone loving in his life like Julia.

            After four long years, the waiting was over. August 22, 1848 had finally arrived. It was Julia and Ulysses’ wedding day.

            They planned to be married in the Dents’ townhouse in St. Louis. Julia and her family were all staying there, for the big event.

            The wedding was scheduled for 8:00 that night. Julia intended to spend the day dreamily getting ready, with her sisters and bridesmaids attending her. As is the tradition, she didn’t expect to see her handsome bridegroom until the moment she descended the staircase in her wedding gown.

            But first thing that morning, who should come to call but Captain Grant?

            Nelly and Emmy, Julia’s sisters, shrieked and giggled and tried to shoo him away. “Oh, Captain Grant! It’s bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding, on their wedding day!” they scolded. But the Captain wouldn’t leave.

            Ulysses was staying nearby at the Planters hotel, and he did not want to spend his wedding day alone in his hotel room. He wanted to be with Julia, to warm himself with her love.

            It is telling that Ulysses cared nothing for traditions, and even though they were to be wed that evening, he couldn’t bear to stay away from Julia a moment longer. It also shows his stubborn streak. He certainly didn’t let other people’s criticisms or difference of opinion change his course of action, not even the disapproval of the family of his bride-to-be.

            Ulysses was too poor to give his bride a gift of jewels on their wedding day, which was then a custom. Instead, he gave her something much more intimate and meaningful, a wristlet with a little picture of her bridegroom inside. Julia wore it for the rest of her life.

            Ulysses finally went back to his hotel room to prepare for the wedding. He had decided to wear his dress uniform.

            At this same hour, Julia prepared to don a fairytale wedding gown given to her by her friend, Caroline O’ Fallon, whom Julia called, “the beautiful angel of my childhood.”

            8:00 P.M., the hour of their wedding had arrived. Ulysses stood at the bottom of the stairs in his dress uniform, shiny sword dangling at his side.

            It was fitting Ulysses wore his uniform, for this was a great conquest.

            The room was filled with banks of candles, their soft light flickering across the faces of young women in hoop skirts and officers in uniform. James Longstreet, Julia’s cousin and Ulysses’ best friend, towered over Ulysses as his best man. Colonel Dent sagged as though at a funeral, not a wedding.

            But the scorn of the Colonel meant nothing to Ulysses on this day. The only thing that mattered was that at long last, sweet Miss Julia would be his and his alone. As he waited at the bottom of the stairs for the arrival of his bride, what was he thinking? After four long years, she would finally be his. At last, as he wrote in his love letters, “the consequence (matrimony) of a love so pure.”

            Julia appeared at the top of the stairs in her wedding gown, a creamy costume of tulle and jasmine. She was surely the most beautiful sight Ulysses had ever seen.

            And to Julia, gazing through her bridal veil “blusher,” which turns all one sees into an ethereal fairy tale, Ulysses must have looked like her handsome prince, waiting for his princess. Julia was radiant in her love, Ulysses was quiet and serious. She let her happiness pour forth, his burned quietly within. Guests remembered he was the “perfect embodiment of a soldier, dignified and brown.” And that he was “as cool under the questions of the preacher as he was under fire during the Mexican war.” He clasped her soft little hand in his, and guests recalled they had never seen a couple who seemed to fit together so perfectly, who were so destined for a happy married life.

            Julia’s little sister, Emmy, and her girlfriends maneuvered themselves to the prime position to “get the best view of the groom’s face.” And Colonel Dent wept when his favorite daughter took her vows. These were no tears of joy, for Colonel Dent hated his future Yankee son-in-law with a passion. Captain Grant was taking his favorite daughter away, and he could do nothing but stand there and watch. For Julia was determined to marry him, no matter what.

            He had probably tried to talk to her, tried to reason with her, to no avail, just as Ulysses’ parents had surely tried to talk to him. What was the point of her going to finishing school, the Colonel inwardly fumed. Julia studied music, and her bridegroom was tone deaf. She learned to dance, and he had two left feet. She was trained to be a great Southern lady, and he was a Yankee. He had bred his daughter to be the mistress of a sprawling Southern plantation, and now she was destined to live in a tiny Army Barracks! For what? For love! Oh, the agony for Colonel Dent. His hopes of passing his dream on to his daughter, shattered.

            He did have one bit of revenge. Rather than have his daughter’s wedding and reception at White Haven, which would have made it the social event of the county, he had it in their small townhouse in the city.

            In Julia’s memoirs, she recounts, “We did not go to the country that summer. I do not know why.” It is obvious. Had they gone there, Colonel Dent would have been forced to have the wedding and reception at White Haven. He would have had to have an orchestra and a sumptuous wedding feast. Instead, he had a small table in the back room of the apartment, with fruit and ices. Julia defends her beloved Papa, recalling that the table was set with “all Papa’s good taste could provide.” She always saw the best in him. Surely, if his daughter would have married someone of whom he approved, say, a wealthy Southerner, Colonel Dent would have put on the proverbial dog. But he was miserable about her selection of husband, and having the wedding in a cramped apartment was one way of expressing his unhappiness.

            But by this time, Julia and Ulysses were in a dream world of their own. It had been raining that evening, but when it stopped, the windows were opened to let in the refreshing night air. The smell of rain filled the room along with the sensual scent of jasmine, Julia’s favorite flower . After the exchange of vows, a violinist played romantic tunes, and a Spanish dancer performed, in honor of the bridegroom’s service in the Mexican War.

            It was a gay party, but Ulysses was probably in great suspense for it to end. When the final guest said farewell and disappeared into the night, the moment finally arrived.

            After four long years, Ulysses finally got the woman he loved. At last, they were man and wife. At last, they were all alone. Well, not exactly all alone.

            The bride and groom spent their long awaited wedding night in Colonel Dent’s townhouse. It’s kind of strange. One would hope the Colonel and his clan had the good graces to leave for the night, or at least sleep on the other side of the house!

            Perhaps Julia wanted it that way. She was so attached to her family. But whatever the reason, the very next day, Ulysses spirited his bride away on a steamboat and left the scowling Colonel Dent as far away downriver as possible.

            In the Southern tradition, the couple’s friends tossed bouquets of flowers into the water after them, as they waved good-bye. Off they floated down the Mississippi River, where all the pleasures of married life awaited them like shiny Christmas packages waiting to be opened.

            Ulysses and Julia were now in a state of total bliss. Julia was such a warm and giving bride, Ulysses had never felt so loved in his entire life.

            Julia recalled it all had a dreamlike quality.

            Julia says neither her husband or she ever forgot it, recalling they had “waited four long years for this event.”

            In the month of August, all their romantic dreams came true at last.

SEPTEMBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

In September of 1845, Ulysses wrote his first love letter to Julia from Corpus Christi, Texas. Corpus Christi would become the sight of some of his most poignantly expressed longings for his beloved.

Corpus Christi Texas

Sept. 14^th 1846

“Your letters always afford me a greatdeal of happiness because they assure me again that you love me still.”

“I never doubted your love Julia for one instant but it is so pleasant to hear it repeated, for my own part I would sacrifice everything Earthly to make my Dear Julia my own forever.”

The following September, Ulysses had survived the first two battles of the Mexican war, been made quartermaster to his regiment, and was on his way to Monterey, Mexico, where the bloodiest battle of the war, so far, awaited him. Here, he pines for his love.

“It is now about two years that we have been engaged Julia and in all that time I have seen you but once. I know though you have not changed and when I do go back I will see the same Julia I did more than two years ago. I know I shall never be willing to leave Gravois again until Julia is mine forever.”

His heart is full of desire for his beloved.

“How much I regret that we were not united when I visited you more than a year ago.”

Three days battles at Monterey Mexico are described by Ulysses to Julia, and the town has not yet surrendered. Yet, Ulysses still dreams of Miss Julia’s surrender.

“...in the midst of grape and musket shots, my Dearest Julia, and my love for her, are ever in my mind.”

On September 8, 1847 fought with his regiment in the bloody battle of Molino del Rey, and on September 13, he served in the assault on the castle of Chapultepec, which, in his memoirs, he describes as “successful but bloody.” When the battles were over, his thoughts went right back to Julia, and he penned her these poetic lines.

City of Mexico

September 1847

“You can readily solve the problem of my discontent Julia. If you were but here and me in the United States my anxiety would be just as great to come to Mexico as it is now to get out.”

“...pray that the time may not be far distant when we may take our walks again up and down the banks of the Gravois. Truly it will be a happy time for me when I see that stram again.”

In the battle of Molino del Rey, young Ulysses was one of many American officers to storm the fortified granary, and only one of a handful of officers who survived. At Chapultepec castle, he and his fellow officers confronted young Mexican cadets who’s honor and loyalty to their country showed itself in their determination to fight for their castle to the last man.

In the dark, winding passageways of Chapultepec, American soldiers told of chasing down cadets and ending their lives with the bayonet. In his memoirs, Ulysses never described such things, but surely, he must have seen them.

What did Ulysses face in the winding passageways of Chapultepec Castle? Did he face a young cadet? And did he face himself, and the horrifying realities of a life in the military?

After this battle, like all the battles of his life, he wrote to Julia, and recalled happy memories of their walks together by the Gravois Creek.

He would always be comforted by thoughts of Julia, to help him forget the horrors of war.

I wrote about the month of September, on Valentines Day, 2010. This is the last month I am describing, and it seems appropriate to write it today, because every day was Valentines Day for Julia and Ulysses! They decorated each others’ lives with love, romance, and joy, every day from their first meeting, until their last.

I wish you all a happy Valentines Day! And may you and your loved ones always bring each other comfort and joy.