JANUARY WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

            Despite his passionate wooing, Ulysses is having trouble getting his beloved to write, or to set a date for their long desired marriage. In January of 1845, he was still in his lonely army camp, in a pine forest in Louisiana, pining away in the pines. In this letter, Ulysses pleads with her:

Camp Salubrity

Near Nachitoches

Jan. 12^th, 1845

“The more than ordinary attachment that I formed for yourself and family during my stay at Jeff. Bks. cannot be changed to forgetfulness by a few months absence. But why should I use to you here the language of flattery Julia, when we have spoken so much more plainly of our feeling for each other?”

A year later, in January, the correspondence courtship of Miss Julia and Lieutenant Grant continues, but he is still having a terrible time getting her to set a wedding date. This time, he is camped out on the beach in Corpus Christi, Texas, with half the U.S. Army, but without his Dear, Dear Julia...

Corpus Christi Texas

Jan. 2d 1846

“Here it is now 1846 Julia, nearly two years since we were first engaged and still a time when or about when our marriage is to be consummated has never been talked of.”

I read his original love letters, in the Library of Congress, and these words fairly burned off the page:

“You alone Julia have it in your power to decide whether in spite of evrything we carry our engagement into effect. You have only to decide for me to act. If you will set a time when I must be in Missouri I will be there no matter if my Reg.t is still in Texas.”

Ulysses’ desire for Julia is so unbearable, he offers to resign his commission as an officer, to come to her.

“If you set a time when I must be in Missouri I will be there no matter if my Reg.t is still in Texas. The matter is one of importance enough to procure a leave of absence, and besides for the love I bear my dear Julia I would not value my commission too highly to resign it. I ought not to commit this to paper where there is a danger that it may be seen before you get it, but I cannot help it, it is what I feel and have expressed before.”

Anyone who reads this next line written by Ulysses S. Grant, I hope, will see him not as the mythical ruthless general, but as the romantic man he really was:

“My happiness would be complete if a return mail should bring me a letter setting the time--not far distant--when I might “clasp that little hand and call it mine.”

                                                                        Your Devoted Lover

                                                                        Ulysses

FEBRUARY WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

In the Spring of 1843, young 2^nd Lieutenant U.S. Grant returned home to Ohio, after four years at West Point. And what was he dreaming about? Why, romance, of course! In his memoirs, written at the end of his life, Ulysses looked back and recalled his anxiety about obtaining his first uniform, and reveals his yearning young heart:

“This was a time of great suspense. I was impatient to get on my uniform and see how it looked, and probably wanted my old schoolmates, particularly the girls, to see me in it.”

With the arrival of his uniform, Ulysses took action on his mission in search of the attentions of the young ladies. But when he road down the streets of Cincinnati, imagining the girls were looking at him, a ragged little urchin made fun of his uniform, implying that rather than work, Ulysses would sell his shirt first.

Ulysses was devastated that his little parade down the streets of Cincinnati had failed to attract the female attention he desired, but instead, the unwanted attention of a heckler. He was mortified. But he needn’t have worried. In September of 1843, he reported for duty at Jefferson Barracks, in St. Louis, Missouri. He would soon discover that his luck with the ladies was about to change.

During the fall of 1843, the young Second Lieutenant made frequent visits to the home of his roommate at West Point, Frederick Dent. The Dent family lived at the sprawling plantation estate of White Haven. The Dents’ eldest daughter, Julia, aged seventeen, had been away at a fashionable boarding school for young ladies, in nearby St. Louis. She and Ulysses did not meet, until the month of February. In his memoirs, Ulysses recalled:

“In February she returned to her country home. After that I do not know that my visits became more frequent; they certainly did become more enjoyable. We would often take walks, or go on horseback to visit the neighbors, until I became quite well acquainted in that vicinity. Sometimes one of the brothers would accompany us, sometimes one of the younger sisters. If the 4^th infantry had remained at Jefferson Barracks it is possible, even probable, that this life might have continued for some years without my finding out that there was anything serious the matter with me...”

“The “something serious the matter with me,” was that Ulysses was in love.

And so, February became the most important month of Ulysses’ life. He met the woman who would fulfill his craving for romance, beyond his wildest imagination.

After a two month courtship on horseback along the winding, woodland pathways around White Haven, and a four year separation during the Mexican war, the young couple finally married. Julia and Ulysses finally wed on August 22, 1848, and after an idyllic honeymoon on a steamboat, proceeded to their first newlywed home: the army barracks in Sackets Harbor, New York. A freezing little “hole in the wall,” as Ulysses described it, it was a far cry from the slave-assisted luxuries of Julia’s childhood home. But “We were very happy,” Julia wrote in her memoirs.

Ulysses’ first love letter to his wife contains my very favorite line. Ulysses was sent to Oswego, New York, on army business. From Adams, New York, he penned his beloved these words:

Adams N.Y.

Feb.y 27^th 1849

My Dearest Julia

“I find I love you just the same in Adams that I did in Sackets Harbor.”

I found these words to be very poetic! The happy new husband then continues:

“A thousand kisses and much love to you.”

The very next day, Ulysses wrote her again. His comments reveal that Julia, herself, was very adept at the art of romance.

Oswego N.Y.

Feb.y 28^th 1849

My Dearest Julia

I found your note stuck to the top of the valise and read it with the greatest pleasure. Although I may not dream of you I think of you very very often and of how much I love you.”

                                                                        Adieu My dear dear Julia

Love notes taped to the inside of his suitcase, and kisses sent through the mail, were all part of a romance which survived endless separations, due to his life in the army. From 1852 to 1854, Ulysses’ assignments at rugged frontier posts on the Pacific Coast forced two years of separation on the newlyweds. This, the most heartbreaking line of any of Ulysses’ love letters, was written from his lonely outpost, toward the end of a two year separation, the longest separation of their married lives:

Fort Humboldt

Humboldt Bay, Cal.

February 2d 1853 (1854)

My Dear Wife.

You do not know how forsaken I feel here!

Ulysses’ need for Julia’s love soon caused him to resign from the army and come home to her. He would not re-enter the army again until 1861, at the beginning of the Civil War. But his reputation was forever stained by the rumours of drinking at Fort Humboldt, caused by his longing for his wife.

Ulysses S. Grant is seen as a drunkard, but I hope that knowledge of his love letters will bring understanding, that his struggle with drinking was a part of one of the greatest romances in history.

MARCH WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

March 3d 1846

Corpus Christi Texas

“This morning before I got awake I dreamed that I was some place away from Corpus Christi walking with you leaning upon my arm, your hand was in mine and I felt very happy. How disappointed when I awoke and found that it was but a dream. However I shall continue to hope that it will not be a great while befor such enjoyment will be real and no dream.”

“I will write to you very often and look forward with a great deal of anxiety--to the time when I may see you again and claim a kiss for my long absence.--Do you wear the ring with the letters U.S.G. in it Julia. I often take yours off to look at the name engraved in it.”

This was Lieutenant Ulysses’ last love letter to Julia, written from the lonely, windswept beach of Corpus Christi, Texas. After leaving Corpus Christi, the American troops went into camp opposite the large Mexican city of Matamoras. Here, the Mexican army threw up sandbags, placed artillery, and gave every appearance of putting up a stout defense. As Ulysses writes to his love, he is still a “raw” young officer, innocent of war.

Camp Near Matamoras

March 29^th 1846

“I am still in hopes notwithstand all warlike appearances that in a few months all difficulties will be settled and I will be permitted to see again My Dear Dear Julia. The time will appear long to me until this event but hope that has so long borne me out, the hope that one day we will meet to part no more for so long a time, will sustain me again.”

The next time Ulysses writes to Julia in the month of March, it is two years later, and he has been, as he later described it, “in every battle it was possible for one man to be in, except one.” Ulysses was a junior officer in the first two battles of the U.S. Mexican War, first at Palo Alto, then at Resaca de la Palma, both near the border of Texas and Mexico. Ulysses fought in the bloody battle of Monterey, and in the attack on Mexico City, storming the Mexican stronghold of Molino del Rey and the castle of Chapultepec, defended by young Mexican cadets determined to fight to the last man. Ulysses survived, and when Mexico surrendered, he and his regiment encamped in the nearby village of Tacubaya. He is still fantasizing about his dear Miss Julia, and this letter shows the importance of dreams shared between the two lovers about each other.

Tacabaya Mexico

March 22 1848

“Write often dearest Julia to one who always thinks but one who unhappily cannot dream of you often. If I could only always see you and talk with you in my dreams whenever I closed my eyes to sleep, I should be much better satisfied.”

In their next correspondence in the month of March, they continue to share vivid dreams.

Columbia Barracks O.T.

March 19^th 1853

“I see from your letter that you have been dreaming of me, but had me associated with wild horses.”

The above quote was taken from a love letter written during their long separation, when Ulysses was stationed on the Pacific Coast. By this time, Ulysses and Julia had been married four and a half years, and had two children together. Their longing for each other still burns off the page. He signed the above letter:

“A thousand kisses for yourself Dear Julia. Your affectionate husband Ulys.”

In this letter, addressed to “My Dearest Wife;” Ulysses is lonely and miserable without Julia. His greatest desire is to unite with her, by any means he can.

Columbia Barracks

Washington Territory

March 31^st 1853

My Dearest Wife;

            “The Mail has just arrived bringing me a very short and very unsatisfactory letter. You speak of not joining me on this coast in a manner that would indicate that you have been reflecting upon a dream which you say you have had until you really imagine that it is true. Do not write so any more dearest. It is hard enough for us to be separated so far without borrowing imaginary troubles. You know that it was entirely out of the question for you to have come. I am doing all I can to put up a penny not only to enable you and our dear little boys to get here comfortably, but to enable you to be comfortable after you do get here.”

The reason Julia was unable to accompany Ulysses to the Pacific Coast, was because she was pregnant with their second child, Ulysses Junior. Ulysses wisely decided it was unsafe for her to travel with him, over the Isthmus of Panama, through narrow jungle passages which could only be crossed on mules. An epidemic of cholera broke out during the time she would have been there, killing every child in their traveling party. It was a wise decision made by Ulysses, protecting his wife and childrens’ health. But the price he is paying is unbearable loneliness.

I noticed that in the above letter, Ulysses capitalizes the word “Mail,” referring to it as “The Mail.” The mail certainly carried great importance to him. It was the only way he could reassure himself of Julia’s love.

In March of 1854, Ulysses is stationed at isolated Humboldt Bay, in Humboldt, California. His loneliness is reaching the breaking point.

Fort Humboldt

Humboldt Bay, Cal.

March 25^th 1854

“I have had just one solitary letter from you since I arrived at this place and that was written about October of last year. I cannot believe that you have neglected to write all this time but it does seem hard that I should not hear from you. I am afraid too that many of my letters do not reach you. The only way of mailing them is to give them to a Captain of a vessel to put them in the Post Office at San Francisco, which, if he does, they are all safe, but I have no doubt but that many times they never spend a second thought about letters entrusted to them.”

“How very anxious I am to get home once again. I do not feel as if it is possible to endure this separation much longer. But how do I know that you are thinking as much of me as I of you? I do not get letters to tell me so. But you write I am certain and some day I will get a big batch all at once.”

Captain Ulysses never did receive any more letters from his wife, while stationed at Humboldt Bay. He resigned not long after this lonely letter was written.

March is usually a month of cold weather, snow and rain, and dreariness. How dark were Ulysses’ days as he pined for Julia from various army camps, and dreamed of the lovely spring rides they used to share together. That hope, Ulysses’ hope of reuniting with Julia, was deepest in his heart through-out his entire life as a soldier.